There is a mosh pit in our kitchen. You better hurry.
Yea. You cant just squeeze my balls. They are sensitive
Nothing like a $37 iTunes bill. Jesus Christ do you know how many $2 beer/shot specials that is??? The answer is 16. 16 beer/shot specials.
She climbed through the window and into my bed. Not even sure who she is. Was thinking she might be a friend of yours?
I don't think of it as I'm taking a pole dancing class...its more like I'm making myself recession proof
Also, that dude projectile vomiting all over the living room was the perfect distraction for me to swipe the booze and run.
They're making him take his shirt off cause they think he's the bouncer. We're in his backyard.
Biggg time. I found 2 empty packages of extenze in my car this am.... not sure what that was all about
Happy 420. I woke up to a girl smoking weed and dragging me out of bed. Chemistry makes so much sense high.
I got sucker punched while I was making out with some girl...I think my molar might have flown into her mouth
i want to shrink myself down to penis size, climb inside of her pussy and just live there for a few months.
I was drunk and really grossed out when you poured cheese on me and, I guess I just freaked out.
She climbed up the stairs with three brownies in one fist, two in the other, and one in her mouth. Also, she opened the bedroom door with her foot. I may be in love.
Now I have the opportunity to have Chris Pratt or Channing Tatum?!? What a time to be alive.
He answered the door stark naked. When I called him on it he shrugged and said 'casual Friday ' Some boys can't be trusted to work from home.
Randomize
