thanks for house sitting, cat must be hiding again... everything go ok?
... about that ...
So you're telling me it's impossible to have a "slight case" of chlamydia?
I tried booty calling last night but apparently he was too tired and wants to meet up tonight. I told him planning defeats the purpose.
.....then i was kicked out of my work christmas party......
So I had to explain to her that pussy doesn't mean a cat
you tipped EVERY employee at white castle
He literally is quoting that 21 questions song, the 50 cent one. oh my god.
they're like a gay fantastic four
Sarah likes to play this game where she leaves her thongs at every party. she hides them where hopefully gf's will find them. I caught her naked from the waste down in my freezer this morning
Have you ever had one of those moments when you kept whispering to yourself "I'm not a slut, I'm not a slut..."?
Just missed the last train for another 5 hours. There are balls in or around the mouth of my life.
Water park on acid. THIS NEEDS TO HAPPEN!!
I'm actually drinking gin and juice out of a floridas natural carton...so if that has any indication of how I'm doing
I'm wine drunk & this is not good news for anybody
That's the 3rd guy I've made pass out from a bj. I may have super powers.
Randomize
