big game today.. looking forward to seeing that magic win, and then i will celebrate with a nude dip in lake Eola.. anyone else in??
One can only hope that this night would end with my thumb in another humans rectum.
Some great men died of syphilis. I accept your compliment.
Did we fight the bathroom girl ? She just wanted to give us lotion and condoms.
She was standing in the road flagging traffic in a tshirt and boxers. I didn't stop.
All she wanted was a cigarette
So. How about you can get tequila certified...
Seriously-without actually meaning the statement for it's words- that made me want to put a baby in you.
Today's been pretty great, I went and bought the new Batman for the sole purpose of masturbating to Bane
Try to make ecstasy cheese. Capitalize on the molly and greek yogurt trends. MARKETING
He peed off the roof and then we bonded it was beautiful
5 minutes Isn't even long enough to bring me even close to an orgasm. How selfish. Think about baseball and fuck me you idiot.
You know you're getting old when 19 year olds you've met on tinder advise you that you should start looking for a wife and/or the mother of your children
well theres no bloody mary mix at the campus bookstore so i dont even know what its good for
I knew how high you were when you put a french fry in your mouth and said 'fuck, this tastes like meat but feels blue.'
Oh my god.. Saw a commercial for Captain Morgan. Made me gag a little bit.
Randomize
