she made me put on a condom before giving me a handjob...this is why i hate freshmen
We had a long talk in which he told me he respects me more than any other girl. 30 minutes later, I got a facial.
I don't want to smoke with her when she's on adderall. She carved her pumpkin for four hours & didn't say a word.
I just found a wine bottle in my shower. Must have been a good night.
This is the most boring acid ever. I feel like a child. But thats okay, I've been a child before, its nothing new.
Drink a bottle I wine by yourself? Treat yo self
i am laugh crying so hard the guy next door stopped playing guitar
I'm so poor. I just wiped my ass with cocktail napkins... That I stole from the neighbors... When I was over there stealing Cheetos.
Did I leave the house with out a shirt or socks?
Yea, you said you didn't need them cause she was going to take them off anyways and that it would "save time".
If your gig isn't over in 30 minutes I am coming on that stage to come on your dick.
But the problem is you celebrate with your heart but I celebrate with my liver
You made the lady who made your cheeseburger sign the box so that when she got famous you would have her autograph.
For a second I thought he was going to give me an intervention
You can't give interventions in a bar!
help. his tongue is stuck. Its not what you think. Hurry.
Last time I had a one night stand he ended up stalking me for two months.
So you're not picking up this weekend?
This weekend, I am Angela, visiting from Calgary. We'll have to roleplay this.
Randomize
