after we had sex last night he told me he smelled like my vagina. and then he said that if his roommate had a vagina he would probably smell like it. because "they hug weird and shit."
failed my one goal of the day: wake up before 2 pm.
I buy you gas. You blow me. Economics.
I don't have enough holes for all these australians
I just got kidnapped by the rugby team for a scavenger hunt. I'm "the girl you had sex with last night"
there was so much ham clogging the tub drain.. he said it was ok he has a cleaning lady
Its not christmas eve unless I give him head. I wont take no for an answer
Lost my key. Fell asleep on the doorstep and got woken up by host grandma poking me with a broom.
Last night was the twilight zone. We hungout with our 45 year old future selves and tried to fuck everything with a dick. Lets move forward from this.
First Thanksgiving as a grown up: My step dad had to take my brother (who still smells like booze) and I both to our cars this morning, apparently we were at the same bars (same stamps), & I think I broke my elbow. Im thankful to be alive & not incarcerated.
Well he can play the xylophone with his erect cock... So he's got that going for him
I think I'm at a stage of my life where I subconsciously purposefully fuck everything up just to see if I can find a way out of it.
Bored of what? I stayed up all night researching sex toys because I'm excited to do things with you that I haven't done in 29 years of having a body.
Those thigh tattoos deserve the handsomest of grins between them. Dont settle.
He said he couldn't fuck me cause I kinda looked like my brother
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