he looked about as manly as a guy in a volkswagen bug can look
you kept calling numbers in ur phone book and saying, "I love your show, I'm a long time listener, first time caller."
Hopefully the semester will be over before she has a breakout. Then I can just avoid the situation entirely
Hey is it bad when your boss leans over your desk and tells you "you smell like the Rainforest Cafe"??
Mental note: adding peach schnapps to a gin and tonic does not "water it down."
Theres a midget tsa agent. Just an observation
Using the only finger i can move, i calculated body mass, intake and time. It's mathematically impossible for me to still have this hangover at 9pm. I passed out at 8pm last night. Fuck vodka.
Are you doing trivia tonite? Also sorry I peed on you.
Just walked by the neighbors and they are definitely butt naked sitting on a bed, watching Netflix, baked out of their minds, with the blinds open.
Welcome to Bellingham.
Me and Jason had to grab your legs and arms and drag you in the house. You kept screaming "leave me for dead"
So this was during drunk golfing. She started wacking me off on the ninth hole and an old couple rolls up next to us. And Says "hey gu- oh my golly" and while my penis is in her hand I'm like "sorry you guys can play through"
I'm sorry I called your mother a reasonably-priced receptacle.
Dentist appt at 2pm get milk poured on my tits by 2am
A marvelous 12 hours
His sister hates me so I took his virginity on her bed
My life is in shambles. Just made a grilled cheese in the microwave on a hot dog bun
Randomize
