They have glow in the dark condoms. That's so scary.
Something like a penis light saber.
oh no, I think we did it in the 'front asshole'
Me= Watching Ferngully. My neighbor= Having really loud sex including multiple orgasms
Oh God
I know, but the worst part is I'm not really sure which I'd rather be doing. Feel free to re-evaluate our friendship
tell your sister to shave her snatch
I just woke up wearing retainers... they are most definitely not mine
just got invited to smoke a bowl by a guy who has a prostetic leg and has been on the jerry springer show multiple times. I love my life right now
I'm drinking vodka out of a coffee pot. and i'm not even mad about it
I say we get drunk before the exam tomorrow. At least then we have a valid excuse for failing.
You should know that Team Beyonce's Vagina dominated in pong last night
There's jack Daniels coming out of my eyes instead of tears.
ALWAYS CAPS LOCK. IS THERE EVER A SITUATION THAT DOES NOT CALL FOR CAPS LOCK? NO.
Sexting? Sexting in caps lock seems rather unnerving.
I WANT YOUR BODY AND I WANT IT NOW.
I rest my case.
No fucking judgements. You know me. Chinese food vent sessions are safe places.
I'm so happy we share a mutual love of laughing at religion.
she's my really slutty friend i bring around so i can act slutty and not feel as bad about it
i got my period today. mid walk of shame and im wearing a shirt that says stay classy. my life is a joke.
Randomize
