you were convinced campus grass and foliage would give you your daily serving of vegetables to balance out the amount of alcohol you drank.
he asked me to marry him on one of those scrolling message belt buckels.... what now?
Ambien does the same to me. One time that I took it, I got this huge bowl of spaghetti out of the fridge and thought it was a castle and that the meatballs were little slaves. I ate all of them first and then the noodles were the soldiers and the sauce was the water in the moat. And when I finished, I fell up the stairs and threw it all up.
opening your purse in class to grab a pen only to find dollar bills and pink fuzzy handcuffs instead...that's a cool feeling
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sure, fine. Daughter just told me she is not a virgin anymore. I am gonna start drinking now
He is in the front yard trying to catch birds out of the air with a fishing net.
Just coat-checked 2 backpacks full of 40's...it was the bouncer's idea.
Life gets in the way of sexy Saturday sometimes
I drank half a bottle of wine while watching the Olympics opening ceremonies. I catcalled at handsome athletes. Stop me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We proceeded to buy tattoos from the dollar store and interpretive dance to of monsters and men, it's safe to say he's my new fuck buddy
Anxiously awaiting my period drinking Hershey's syrup from the bottle. Don't judge me
I learned so much about myself in that shower.
I'm on the bus, watching a girl shush her balloons.
Waxing your own asshole is awkward and difficult at best.
He walked into the bar with a pillow and put his head down...nuff said
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