if you come down to my room ill tell you a secret
News update: stealing a playground is harder than it looks.
Getting up at 8 this morning to drink could be the best and the worst idea we've ever had
The handjob she gave me was better than the best blowjob I've ever gotten.. Just imagine the possibilities.
We've been broken up for 7 months. His mom sent me a card with a brochure inside titled "How at Risk for STD's are you?"
And yes, in case u were wondering a 25 year old high school agriculture teacher did just hit on me At Walmart bc of my pinata
shes 19, drunk and said she has no gag reflex. im trying to decide if i have scruples
you dont
i dont
Tried to bribe the bartender with wedding cake. Felt bad for not giving her a tip.
We were showing our tits to everyone because it's breast cancer awareness month and we care deeply
I thought we were doing it cause it's Tuesday
He threw up, and left his credit card next to the puddle. He kept on saying he wanted to pay for the damages.
I really think that guy just walks around with tennis balls in his pocket. No dick is that big
Well. Turns up no one actually knows who that kid was. Came in, said happy fathers day, chilled for a while, then left.
He kept telling me that he didn't serve two tours in Iraq for my bitch ass to drink banana rum.
While strippers were eating ones out of my boobs, several sources claimed trump shared classified info with the russians. We should get hammered on Mondays more often, bitch.
I'm glad we smoked together,that was probs the biggest sibling bonding we will ever have.
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