so looking at the guys i've dated i feel my vag is a halfway house
so when I got there he was dressed as jesus in a recliner drinking whiskey out of the bottle watching spanish porn. Then kept shouting dont judge me or ill judge you. we didn't even go to a halloween party.
so we had a 20 minute conversation and created the fb page WWND (what would Nana do?) last night after we took our Ambien...that is my definition of an overachiever
I found them in the kitchen microwaving bottle rockets chanting U.S.A U.S.A U.S.A
look for us when you get to the club. we're the guys wearing snorkels.
One my way home. There was too much fog, strobe lights, and cocaine for my taste.
So much easier to puke and rally now that my gluten's under control
we are the apple cider girls!
Everyone keeps telling me I look so healthy and happy today: the power of the penis people!!
On the shuttle bus from the Casino the driver refused to take us to the strip club so you said "let me off this bus or ill puke on you".
We should probably start extreme couponing for the morning after pill.
I had one beer! ONE BEER! They took shots in mourning of my tolerance last night. My ability to drink is a joke.
It's not even 8:30a, wine glass is broken, there's sugar everywhere, and your mom just asked me what MILF means.
75% of the time I swipe right on Bumble for girls over 40 is because I think their 18 year old daughter is hot.
I walk into the pharmacy and I'm like "I need three morning after pills" and the guy was like "uhhhh". All I said was "we didn't plan it, we all just got laid the same night"
So how often do you needs to see my tits today then?
Randomize
