with her its the mind over matter factor, i dont mind and she dont matter
You just got cockblocked by Conan O'Brien.
Dude you need to stop whoring out my boobs. They are for emergencies only.
Hurricane Sex Time is the only thing iv said since it started.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
that's probably because you left your arm in the fishtank for 90% of the night
Ok, was I really fucked up or was there a chick from Norway in the ice cream shop teaching us Norwegian last night?
I flashed some kids doing a church car wash. I feel like I really improved the quality of their lives.
If you've never been pounded by an Eastern European body builder, I would highly recommend it.
I could probably be laying here naked and he'd still be more interested in this thunderstorm
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Powdered alcohol is a real thing now. Move over crystal light... Water bottles rejoice!!
I actually had to apologize for "being too aggressive about harry potter"
like, is this a date?? I'm sitting on his couch drinking a juice box while he makes taquitos in sweat pants
99% of the contents of my handbag are ketchup packets and condoms. I feel that says a lot about me as a person.
If this adventure is going to get us arrested it'll have to wait until Wednesday so that I can bail myself out.
Turns out, the guy I'm casually fucking has a girlfriend who's cheating on him with my sister's boyfriends brother who I fucked last year. And my sex life has now come full circle.
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