i can totally tell he's high. he's having a conversation with my dog.
I woke up with a solved rubics cube in my purse
She got a text from her mom saying "you better not sleep with him, we all know how he is". IV ONLY BEEN HERE A WEEK
So what's the verdict on pumpkin smoothies with vodka? I puked.
Im still alive. Just can't talk. Or move. No need to worry
Sorry there's no emoticon for I got my period all over a guy's bed so I had to improvise. There isn't even a bed one
So, we estimated there is at least 40 pounds of boob in our house.
I'm drawing the line at your vagina. I will not accompany you to get that pierced and/or tattooed. There's got to be some mystery to our relationship.
So I've been in more fights on one leg than I've had on two.
who is that guy in your bed? he looks like jesus..way to keep it festive
He came so hard that he yelled what sounded like a spell from Harry Potter.
And I'm sorry for punching you in the face when I drunkenly threw my sandwich
He's very cute and has a totally sit-able face.
That’s talent right there. Maverick and Goose type shit.
He accepted my bet of 5 bucks to bike home completely naked. Never got asked about the 5 bucks, guess he enjoyed it too much
Randomize
