People in love make me want to vomit
the more i look through evidence of last night, the less i seem to remember.
Also on a more serious note, what says pull my hair more: straight or soft curls?
You probably don't remember. You were drunk and getting your tits drummed on like haitian bongos in a voodoo ritual.
I'm lying here drinking water from a shot glass..moving is not an option right now
I'm smoking a bowl and pondering why we haven't discovered teleportation again.
The cop was yelling at you as you layed on the sidewalk and you wouldn't take him seriously cause you thought it was some dude in a cop costume.
Did copperhead road at the bar. All the girl next to me did was stare at my glorious bouncing tits. CAN I FUCKING HELP YOU?? I worked hard for these tits.
You don't understand!!! BACON ROSES!!! Why are you not more excited?!
We hooked up in his car and afterwards he cried. I think I need to find a new hookup...
some kid lit a j in the bar tonight. i was in awe of both his boldness and the severe beatdown he received moments later
i dunno, a lot of my childhood feels like a drugged up fever dream
We were high and the scary movies were scaring us too bad. Were all watching porn instead now
Remember that one time you told the bartender he was fuckable? Well, he's here.
I promised to leave my panties on but I didn't promise to not have sex
Randomize
