I actually kind of like the booze poos. It's like a colon cleanse. I feel skinnier.
The guy i fucked last week got done first on the test in my 900 person class. If im pregnant at least it will be smart.
She makes me want to have breakfast margaritas every day
i think the bruises are from the grocery store. on separate occasions. i've been spending a lot of time drunk at the market lately.
i have a vague recollection of being in the parking deck around 4 this morning, and on monday morning i was naked on the roof.
that would mean it's on tape
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Your sister reminds me of me at her age. Stop her while you can.
we just plugged the camera up to the big screen. would you like to come see what you did last night, in high definition?
We woke up under the ping pong table holding hands.
got high to the hills theme song. FEEL THE RAIN ON YOUR SKIN. no regrets.
If the river was whiskey, it would be the best river ever.
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You said dick pics aren't attractive
Random ones, from strangers, no. But a beautiful penis I know and love, absolutely :3
I don't give a shit if you judge. This isn't about you or anyone else. This is about me and my chicken tenders.
If I die write a nice eulogy and bury me with my star wars bobbleheads
Jesus fuck. I just hit on him in front of the whole fire department. They hit the sirens and told us to get a room. FML. I can never go back to that fire station again...
I. Love. Skype. Sex.
I think it's just been too long since actual dick has been inside you that you only THINK you love skype sex
It was platonic naked porno viewing, I swear.
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