we've reached the level in our friendship where i don't think he would rape me
Just fyi NOT a good idea to drunkenly insert your NuvaRing after chopping jalepeno peppers
Sex should be hot, sweaty, messy, and a little painful. At no point should it involve tiny rocks
I'm trying to decide if I want to bring home my 'beer champion' trophy or my chem books.
I have 250 contacts there has to be someone sober to take me to taco bell
full cup flip cup was not exactly the reason I wanted to tell the cops when I was sleeping on the curb
Yeah dude I should be out of the ER in about an hr. They gave me vallium. Go tell the captain its time to set sail.
I woke up to a hotel manager knocking on my car ( window was down) and asking if I was ok
I need a Jamo leash. Just tie it to my wrist and every time you see me reaching for a shot of it, just yank my hand away
I just want a teacup pet pig so I can take him to parties with me and never have to walk home alone again.
Stalker pic that shit
He left, I think he got uncomfortable when I started singing 'oompah oompah doodley do, I have a special riddle for you'
He painted a swimsuit on me. Naked day at the lake was a success.
he just left the suite without pants on wrapped in Christmas lights
He is married, and has a regrettably large penis. I need to find another one right away to get myself out of this mess.
How big does a penis have to be before it becomes regrettably so?
I just want a guy who makes lots of money, has a skilled penis and the sex drive of a 22 year on Viagra. Is that too much to ask?
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