I do regret it. But I can't unfuck her
She said she's saving anal for marriage cuz she has to save something for her husband...seriously just caught myself lookin at rings.
i hate always having to make my eye shadow look really good since my eyes always end up closed by the end of the night in pics
Please don't die.. At a gay bar... On a Wednesday. Obituaries are not allowed to be that entertaining.
Hey, just wanted to let you know that University Police stopped by and repossessed the stolen laundry basket. And the 8 bottles of detergent.
I'm taking stock of m life as of right now and my Friday night plans are to drink a 30 rack by myself so I can have a tv stand when it is finished
Make the kitchen floor stop waving. Im trying to lay on it
COOKIE DOUGH CUPCAKES ARE A THING
Did you really just send me a blank text in response to news as awesome as that?
A drawer in my room has nothing but a large feather quill, a wine glass, and a 15" Bowie knife. If you could put my life in a drawer I think that would be it.
Why do I know about what dicks have been in your mouth but didn't know you had a dog? What kind of friends are we??
I think I may have fully transcended this spectrum of life. I can see beams of light man. Down to the photons
What
The only downside is I can't stop skipping
I forgot to lock the door last night. I woke up cuz a guy opened my bedroom door, asked me who I was and where he was. And there was another guy standing in the living room asking me if I knew what apartment "Travis" lives in.
the people in front of me have a grocery cart in their car... i missed college...
And I think she just drunkenly ordered an ipad. she said it was so pretty she couldn't keep it "locked up" because an ipad has to be let free.
You kept crying and I couldnt help but laugh at you, I was really high though.
Randomize
