Dude it was awful. I woke up with more strippers in my dorm room than those duke lacrosse kids.
so basically i'm the" little sister", he's the "big brother" and we just fucked
Some girl in the stall next to me just yelled "fuck yes i started my period!" she came out of the stall and we high fived. who am i to judge? i do that every month.
how bad would it be if i made his twitter my home page?
It got to the point that I had to make flashcards with their name on the front and dick pics on the back.
I'm going to need to borrow your helmet cam for my Wednesday night blackouts.
Im done having sex . he ruined it for me after he said " can we use my penis as a shovel ?"
You left for an hour, then walked up to us at the bar, pulled 80 dollars out of your bra and yelled " drinks are on him".
While you wait, fill out your state patrol application. Not trying to be your mom, I just really want to fuck a cop.
Trying to figure out the logistics of putting my laptop speakers on this plate with the last slice of pizza. Too drunk to move the plate. Not an option.
Do you think next time you could control the yawn? Kind of a buzzkill to be mid-orgasm and see you yawning over there.
You can't just walk around stealing hats from drunk boys and peeing in bathtubs. Turn down.
IT'S A GIANT FUCKING ROBOT, DUDE. LOGIC IS OUT OF THE QUESTION BECAUSE AWESOME.
I drank all the wines... and all th Doritos. Whilst watching Fat Camp. I need to reassess my values.
woke up on my floor using my jeans i wore out as a pillow
haha i wouldn't expect any less of you
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