it was worse than that time i tried giving evan head 4 days post nose job.
We're gonna have to suck it up and start making out for free drinks. No homo. I'm watching Tyra "I kissed a girl and I got free drinks."
Let's do it. All homo
Are you trying to threaten my boobs?
i have no concept of time, i feel my nose, and im seeing everything in bitty hexagons.
i tried to get you to come inside, but you insisted on throwing up in the flowers "because they're pretty."
I swear, you have an app for that. "Attention: your boyfriend is pooping. Place call?"
we were bear claw grabbing his crotch in the middle of the bar yelling prominent ridge over and over.
I went to the haunted house just to see her - Hello new fetish!
When we were done making out, some guy ran into the room yelling, "I'll save you Brandon! I'll save you!"
I was woken up in my old house by the new residents ... I don't even have a Key anymore
Jesus Christ I am the crazy cat lady of vibrators
Someone came in the potted fern
His dick is the size of my forearm. Would it be rude to ask to take a comparison photo after sex?
Last thing I remember at your house last night is your dad leaning on the beer pong table and saying "you guys can fucking party"
In a few weeks I'll be a beautiful butterfly and me and my cat will have to repopulate the earth. WE WILL REBUILD!!
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