try this...when you orgasm scream his address including city state and zip...
He had one of those small greek statue penises
just found the deal breaker
hairy back?
he can't live within 1000 ft of a school
I told her for every minute she spent down there, I would donate a dollar to the Haiti relief fund... totally worked
Is it bad that now when i read ingredients in the food I eat i only read it as shrooms instead of mushrooms ?
I pulled my tongue muscle last night. your welcome.
He came in like 30 seconds. That's how I know he hasn't been cheating on me while I've been gone
Can she stop putting up all these passive aggressive statuses and please come out of the "I-want-to-be-a-pornstar" closet already?
Blacked out, Had to be carried out of the bar again by two large black bouncers. Asked them to be my "boo thangz" Again.
My last two google searches are "shiny things" and "Ohio consent laws." you should visit more often.
He was pretty handsy. Told me I tasted like smoke. Good think he tasted that and not the stomach acid I just puked not ten minutes before.
God dammit. My lube leaked all over my passport
So the tow truck driver didn't charge us because Ian convinced him that he was sent out by God to share his cocaine with us.
Turns out my GF and my FWB have a mutual friend. Yada yada yada, I need to crash on your couch
I’ve jerked off three times and taken five shits already today. Being hung over in your 40’s is a fucking roller coaster.
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