Heyy I kind of wanted to apologize and excuse myself for last night. I feel like that was a little much. I just met you. That's why I don't like tequila. Haha
I can mark tailgating, going to the game and getting road head off my to do list today
i havent thrown up in four monthes, im clearly not drinking enough
Well, I'm eating cake, watching wedding videos of people I don't know, and crying. Clearly I'm a vision of mental health today
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
At this point I will cuddle anything to prevent from dying alone
They got me high and left me at the mall with a giftcard for $400. I need an adult.
It's that time of night again when I start to think I'm really funny, but no one else is as drunk as I am so they all start avoiding me.
2012 needs to end already. I've exceeded my quota for People Who Have Accidentally Seen My Tits.
Will that be creepy to wake him up at midnight with my tongue all over his body??
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She sent me nudes via email. What the fuck are we still in the 90s? Grow up
Also I feel I should tell you last night when I came home I fell into my laundry hamper and woke up in a pile of my clothes
I have put on lipstick and signed up for class. Nothing more shall be expected of me today.
Do you think it's illegal to drive without your pants on?
we got cockblocked by his mom again...its like she has a radar on me
please stop trying to sleep with him
so on the street and some kid is chanting "cheeseburger, cheeseburger, cheeseburger!" while pumping his fist in the air. i agree.
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