he said i was weird because i want to have sex in public places.
i dont think thats weird i think thats fun
i forgot to tell you, he fell asleep outside my house again last night, but im weird
yea ive hooked up with like half those guys
and i've hooked up with the other half...when our powers combine, we are captain slutbag
If I send you a picture of the guy passed out in the bath tub, will u be able to identify him?
I swear I only do things like fuck 19 yr olds just to hear how you laugh when I tell you.
Noooo. We thought it would be funny for him to wake up buried in the sand. But we just remembered about the whole high tide thing and it's dark and it's pretty damn hard to find an unconscious head sticking out of the sand. Just help us out
Note to self glow in the dark nail polish can be quite the mood killer during sex especially when you notice its working for the first time and you stop everything your doing to do spirit fingers
Basically I don't wanna put on pants...but I'm stoked for drinking my face off tomorrow.
I just wanted to be the best at what I did even if that included sexing a whole fraternity or sorority ya know?
The hint wasn't even a hint. it said "stop talking to her" that's pretty straightforward
If more people understood that brunch is at 3pm the world would be a better place because you don't have to wake up early. Breakfast food is important
I am high playing guitar hero naked. Please don't let me die this way
6 showers laters and I still feel like I have his vomit in my vagina. At least I could help him figure out he's gay.
All I wanted to do was come home from work and masturbate for national sex day... I sliced my the tip of finger giving myself a pedicure so I can’t even do that #singlelife
got cock blocked by the cops again. two of the cops were the same ones from that t bell incident and they recognized me... they still dont like me
This sucks! All of the twenty something dick I was getting went home when the university closed
Randomize
