It took him longer to undo my bra than he lasted..
I just heard an old guy ask the chick he was with if she wanted to try ass to mouth...
thanks for that.
Does it really count as two different guys if they're brothers? I like to think of it as one and a half.
note to self... there IS such a thing as having too many birthday shots...
If you dont, I will tell Dad you are gay.
Fine, and I will tell him you fucked his business partner
Previous statement retracted.
No I am not eating basil off your cock
But it's a terrible idea. One erection and it's gonna go wrong
Well apparently I'm no fun since I won't have a threesome with him and my mother.
You know what would make the espn body photos even better? If anyone knew who any of those fucking athletes were. That, and maybe not feature Gary Player.
I had a dream that I had to take a breathalyzer but then it turned out to be a bong....why can't that be real life?
so I definitely just chased tequila shots with a biscuit covered in sausage gravy
Thats fucking manlier than riding a bear into battle
Before you jump in that vagina remember there's a reason we call her Infectonator.
He texted me at 2am telling me to come get my American flag from his place, if that's not code for sex idk what is
Just had to break it to that one guy that I can't sleep w him bc he looks identical to my brother. So how's your morning?
just blew him in the library. I am a classy dame
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