You know you think of me naked too
Not since I found Jesus
Alex texted me. Bootycall boy #2. its like an alarm goes off once i'm single that the line is open again
you woke up, pulled a beer bottle out of your pants..took a drink and went back to sleep.
do you think having her use a clorox disinfecting wipe on her vagina will keep me from getting her herpes if I don't have a condom?
He kept singing "who's that peekin in my window" we thought he was high til we realized someone was lookin in the windows.
Youre on making sure I dont black out around fat chicks duty
Is it a step in the wrong direction to ask my parents for a kegerator for graduation?
I bought a police grade breathalyzer on ebay at 4:37 am. At least I'm a responsible drunk.
Ive seen teh same guy pissing in the corner. Twice. Its eally weird. My frieds gonna do th funnel. Im so excited for her! Love, cori. Cuz its lik a diary.
Look I know it's late and I hope this doesn't wake you up but I feel like you should know that I'm sleeping on my couch in my own apartment so that my friend can get laid in my bed, and I would do the same for you.
And I told him that even though were not together, if he has sex with anyone I would have sex with someone else, video tape it and send it to him.
Fyi - we're going to be eating those sandwiches in bed when you get home.
I want to ride his face like a jet ski
I did crash a prom last night though.. It was fun
also, when i showed up he started talking to me and eventually asked me if the girls treated me well. i went on to talk about my sex life. he was talking about his secretaries.
Randomize
