Bar closing I am hiding in the bathroom. do you think anyone will find me?
I think I'm maturing; i was gonna watch porn and then take a nap but i motivated myself to put my laundry in first.
Should I hook up with a slut its your call
Yes. Wrap it. If you dont have a condom do it anyway. YOU ONLY LIVE ONCE.
naighbors jacking off again. i swear its his friday night ritual, its like he knows the night wont be ending in his favor
Having him eat chocolate out of you is not as romantic as it sounds. I'm still finding pieces.
dont touch anything in my room. If its phallus shaped, i can almost guarantee its been in my vagina.
new level of vanity: sex dreams about deep throating myself...
NEVERCLEAR, NEVER AGAIN.
Aqua-barf. When you are about to puke in the toilet but pass out face first instead...and then puke. WITH YOUR FACE IN THE BOWL. There is no escaping the puke ring you have on your face. I know first hand.
If anyone wants to ring in the new year with gluttony and yoga pants, let me know. As soon as it becomes a socially acceptable hour to drink margaritas, I'm gonna go down on a chimichanga.
Making drunken Mac n cheese at 3 am I understand why witches constantly stir their cauldrons. Much more homogenized temperature and slim chance of boiling over. Good job witches.
He was like low grade Riff Raff, but I hit it. Twice. His grill popped out the second time.
Hey, if a dude can't randomly belt out Whitney Houston tunes from time to time, is life really worth living??
Oh yeah I meant to tell you the Tomb Raider looking girl so crop dusted me on the stairway
I teamed up with my vagina. I compromised his morals and then she corrupted him for good. It’s been a very successful and slutty partnership
Randomize
