we better have passed that bar exam - i dont want to have to drink like this again
Great, now everyone thinks I've had giraffe semen in me
Ever since I discovered that youporn works on blackberry, my brickbreaker skills have gone to shit
All he was doing was sitting in the car, staring. We asked him what was wrong and he just turned, smiled, and said "everything has its own pair of boots"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Always fun waking up to 911 as your last dialed call.
I'd be surprised if he had a problem with boundaries after helicoptering his penis in front of you
He asked me to spit in his mouth. I did. Never let me hook up with this guy again.
You kno how some people just need a "everything will be alright" pat on the back? I need an "everything will be alright" blowjob right now. Come over
So I was trying to finish off that sick uv whipped and I chased it with yogurt. Not a good idea
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't need my coworkers thinking I'm a nutcase.
You gift wrapped a tampon.
Senior week was like trying to herd cats. Very drunk cats.
I feel like we need to find him and explain that if the two of them would just fuck he'd understand.
I wish so many great beards were not attached to even greater jerks. All that face sitting potential wasted. Some of the greatest tragedies of this century.
Straight up last night my mom was like josh you need to find a job that doesn't include the selling or transporting of drugs
You have a full penis tattoo of a cobra fighting a mongoose, don't you?
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