Oh My! A car just drove by me a splashed me with a wave of water. I am drenched and soaking wet!
I am sorry--all I heard is that you are wet.
you dont publicly announce someones alcholism over facebook. you dont out someone like that.
he had to fake a sneeze attack to hide the fact he came in 15 seconds?!
so its atleast an 8 for creativity.
what part of “beer fountain” do you not understand
Gina was bawling her eyes out and then she ran into the street and peed. she kept screaming "LOOK WHAT YOUVE DONE TO ME"
I know this is really fun but I don't wanna glow anymore
That man gives me hope. I can't help it. And by "hope" I mean "wood."
Just saw a drunk bitch in the west village peeing on a car. You are not alone.
The condom broke. Its OK tho, turns out I was just humping her thigh for 20 minutes. Jager dude, Jager.
We really gotta change brands again because 2-ply is making us feel like the celebrities we aren't.
So is it your turn now to pretend like dating someone else would stop us from fucking?
Let's be honest, college orientation is going to be "here's how to drink everclear"
Why were you naked on your bathroom floor?
It was a "get entirely naked to take a shit" kind of blackout I think.
we were running around the halls trying to bloodhound search out the source of the weed smell, but we ran into six other people doing the same thing, and they all said they assumed it was us.
You could cut the tension with my nipples.
Randomize
