we made out on top of his cat.
I look like a herd of wild horses chewed on my back. If you bite me again while taking me from behind, I'm going to have to cut you off.
Thanks for having 911 ready when I jumped off the balcony
Bought two parrots for us. I'm keeping them at the Bellagio.
I know you claim to have a large penis but I do not believe in what i cannot see. Sort of like god.
The jerky fairy visited my fridge. It's glorious.
i woke up this morning and saw her in my bed and i said to myself, I think I might have a drinking problem.
Thanks for getting me stoned. My manager started quizzing me about the menu and I struggled until he asked me to describe the tortilla soup. I said "tasty"
Hahaha more like walk of pride. You entered the lions den last night.
Can't tell if waking up covered in easy mac is the sign of an amazing or terrible night
I think he's an actor
That's not a good enough reason to wear guy-liner
I feel as if some line has been crossed, but only in this vague, WTF sort of way.
So this is how i'm celebrating Easter? By eating chicken nuggets and masturbating all day. What a life.
have fuck
*fun
actually forget it have a fuck too it'll do you good
If you can endure a laser on the butthole, you can endure a wax on the butthole. Those are words to live by.
Randomize
