You think ghandi was good in the sack? cuz i sure do.
I'm not gay.
Soooo you want ghandi? is that what your telling me?
If ghandi gives good head...I'm in
Its fine.
Marg and I just meaowed the nat anthem. I was tenor.
'm tripping baaaaaaaaaaaaaaas
Omg alex and i were cooking weiners on a campfire and a bear came and i am waayyy too high for this
Why do I feel like I used to feel when I almost got caught looking at porn when I get caught looking at facebook at work
So I had to explain to her that pussy doesn't mean a cat
i pounded out a 17-yr-old on saturday night
no, that is not a typo
i turned her down on fri night, googled the state consent laws & then caved on saturday
We left the house and she said "let's go dick hunting" theres no way last night was gonna end up well
This is how we made chicken soup last night: Whole chicken in a pot of vodka with a box of crackers and some carrots. We should go pro.
Did you blow the guy you weren't supposed to hook up with again in the bathroom of pita pit? Cause that happened last night...
I ended up passing out on the shitter for like an hour with mcds smoothie all over my face
New carpet is nice. I'm making carpet angels. Like a fresh snowfall.
That man gives me hope. I can't help it. And by "hope" I mean "wood."
I cnant read. Cheetos goen. Help. Grt Cheetos.
You have to start asking people if they're gay before you kiss them..
Omg I literally just wanna sleep with you right now. Like actual sleep. Not sex. Well maybe. But sleep first
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