I just realized i haven't had sex in 2009. oh man thats embarrassing.
Oh my god he is having a sentimental moment right now.
He just sent me like a really heartfelt confession of love in which he ended with "make the apt, I'll hold your hand while you get your clit pierced."
you said the mailboxes were turning into babies and they started crawling away. then you cried and asked me how you were gonna get your college acceptance letters
your suggestions for charades were, getting sucked into an aircraft turbine, getting raped by a dolphin, and having sex with a vacuum cleaner. you got your own, and actually used a vacuum cleaner as a prop.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
winter break is going to suck... i have to put away my college personality and transform into who my parents think i am.
You tried to sled down the middle of the street. In. Your. Coat. Of course you are bruised.
I think a 5 ft pyramid of jello shots in honor of the egyptians is in order
everyone at work keeps looking at me like they know I got the herp this weekend
My picture of a beer can in a McDonalds cup full of ice got more likes than my relationship with her. Is beer THAT much better than monogamy?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Three people drank on "never have I had sex in a tractor." Iowa at its best?
His hair looked like he was in a bukaki and then got a perm right after
I have a fantastic sense of humor but being called a merman isn't funny
Now I'm ashamed that I wore a bra
My pants are on and I'm pretty sure I tried to throw them at someone.
He sent me a dick pic for every page I had to write for final papers (87) & brought me adderall. Tell me that isn't romance.
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