You guys sftrill at mcdondalds?!!!!
Yes.
fuckin bring me a cheseburgeria
im shaking like a drug addict and i almost just shat my pants when i sneezed...no more patron for me
I think I'd do Clint Eastwood.
...kinda gettin a major gay vibe from you right now.
That was a text you sent me last night.
just saw the guy i hooked up with last nights' face on a billboard. win.
he came on my stomach and it was 1000 degrees in his car. i smelled awesome.
It was almost awkward to look at you naked while listening to Circle of Life. Just saying.
Apparently she buried shit in the snow back in January and now that it's melted I found a flip flop, 4 spoons, a bottle of smirnoff, and 14 different candy bars
I've never seen a dude bust out of his jacket and rock an air banjo like u
We stopped mid-sex and both shotgunned a beer then got back to it. Is this what love feels like?
He was like low grade Riff Raff, but I hit it. Twice. His grill popped out the second time.
I'm spring cleaning all of the fuck boys out of my life.
Just please don't close your legs while I'm down there again. I don't want my death to be labeled as "Head crushed while giving an individual cunnilingus".
It's always appealing to be able to say to someone "I banged your mom"
I need you to teach me how to be roommates with somebody I'm not fucking.
Considering I drank for you last night, do you mind picking up your half of the hangover
Randomize
