4 words: hood of his car
so wait, they're fucking, but it doesn't count as cheating cause they only do anal?
I would like to thank collapsed soviet republics and fathers who didnt show enough attention for tonight's festivities
I was amazed that you fell flat on your ass and still managed not to spill them drinks in your hands. Your getting good at this.
just got dressed up for chatroulette- THAT desperate.
You kept saying "sir officer" which would have been polite and helped you if it wasn't a female. She was pissed.
my dad just paid them in porn...i no longer feel guilty for getting hammered and not helping
He wouldn't let me put a red handprint on his face or scream to him everytime he walked away.
Why did you want to do any of that?
If someones last name is Wilson, you are obligated to pretend that you are Tom Hanks and they are a Volleyball and quote the movie when you speak to them.
Either of you know why the shower was on and the bathroom door wide open with no one in there at 6 in the morning?
I am a delicate flower. A fucked up, drunk, horny, pants pissing, delicate little flower.
Just to clarify, i'm coming over for tacos not a threesome
Let's just wait to see what happens before we start making radical plans and starting fires
All I want to do is drink an excessive amount of free alcohol bought from strange men, while taking frequent trips to the bathroom to snort an assortment of illicit drugs off dirty toilet seats. Break cannot get here quick enough...
Eaten today: granola bar, pumpkin donut, and fritos. Oh, college nutrition.
There's something about a foam party that makes freshman want to turn their lives into full blown shit shows. And I'm ok with the fact I am one of those.
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