i think my tv is drunk
im typing and i feel like my hands are on backwards.
Stop texting me, I'm right here.
RAWRRRR IMA PURPLE DINO
dude i'm sitting right next to you.. stop texting me
Words of Wisdom: ordering a pitcher of whiskey cokes, putting a straw in it, and calling it your drink is not socially acceptable
you kept trying to make scrambled eggs with 3 hardboiled ones.
im sure we could have fun without alcohol but i just dont wanna chance it...
dear roomies, would anyone wanna donate the booze they left in the fridge over break to the "your roomies snowed in and all alone" fund?
I managed to convince my mom that my hickey was a birth mark I have always had. She cried for an hour about being a terrible mother for never noticing it.
I will probably be peed on at some point today.
I feel like an elephant shit on me and left me to be miserable
It's 6 am, I'm drunk, and celebrating the end of finals.Go ahead and ask me where I am...if you guessed a McDonald's playpen then you are correct. Badabababa I'm loving it
dude, my hangover is telling me there was tequila involved
I just did a shot of Jameson and two shots of cuervo. Note: this is the moment things went down hill
...and if you can get the necessary ingredients to make the Buffalo Chicken Melt, I will latch forever at your Teat of Justice.
I'll text you when I have a mental breakdown about it.
Please do.
Randomize
