You ever start fucking a girl and realize she kinda looks like your mom?
Pretty sure somebody just said 'I used to have a nipple'
that's awkward
He wanted to take me out and said we could "go huntin in the woods."
Sorry I couldn't get my dick out
you were chalanging people to drink the "worlds biggest jager bomb" - a VASE of Redbull and a PINT of Jager... is it no wonder you dont remember anything?
Dude she let me cum on her face
You have the wrong number I'm the she who let you cum on her face unless some other girl has let you since this morning
I would have thought, as two of my best friends, you girls could have cought me as I fell out of the shower. There are so many bruises.
in the middle of fucking he asked me if i had gotten a haircut because he noticed i didnt have split ends anymore. i dont know what to think
I sent him pictures of just me in my thong and he replied "you're so sweet, you make me feel special <3".... Oh.
I don't remember anything that happened last night past 10.. I made him buy me a Buckeye's Donut tshirt. I have no idea why he'd want to fuck me after that.
She's cute, but batshit. Like some kind of dominatrix disney princess.
I have a vague memory of you tryin to ride a unicycle through jimmy johns
He balanced a treat on his nose, and then he rolled me a joint. My bf is the best pet ever.
His whole street is under construction. Third walk of shame this week & I'm getting a lot of sympathetic nods from the workers.
Spent like 2 minutes so far learning and 35 minutes in a group chat talking about big asses. Yet another Wed zoom meeting.
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