im never drinking mad dog again and i have your belt.
she tasted like a mixture of sweat and destiny
you told me heaven would be the 3 of us at Moe's forever and every hot girl that walked in would ask us to play stone face
Only time i ever look at my online banking statement is to see when i left the bar.
It's raining. Will need ride home and blow job.
I'm slightly possesive over the gucamole when i'm stoned.
Is that why you left peanut shells in my bed?
my revenge plans when i'm high are never as good as i think they are
I just wanted to share with you that my life has come to naked arts and crafts, to fix my flask, with a rum and coke in my hand... Good luck on your exam
Ok, gonna go sleep cuz my brain wants to be smart and not follow my pussy into the danger zone
Just walk of shamed past a 5 year old on my way out of my booty call. He waved at me. Is this the single life I've been missing?
Btw any and all sexual fantasies or arousal I had about cops is null and void.
From what I heard you ordered him to lick your balls. Unless you've kept a huge secret I understand his confusion.
3 words: harry potter burlesque. My life is so much more awesome than yours right now.
She stripped naked and ran around the outside of the house while I stood by the tent holding her clothes shouting "come back" because I was too drunk to chase her. This is why we can't have nice things.
So if you wanna come get your pants you can. But you have to come in your boxers. Rules are rules!
She climbed in my window blew me and left. She's in my phone as the blow job fairy
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