woke up 7 floors down in the lobby...i my underwear. New high or new low?
New experience?
i thought i was pinching her nipple. It was her mole
What did you even date her?
because emotionally unstable girls are great in bed.
So I'm eating my sandwich... and a penny fell out of it.
after we finished, she said she had been a backup performer for Cirque du Soleil. THAT flexible.
Dude we need to petition the city about running buses later, none of my booty calls own cars
As we were fooling around he told me he was conceived on this bed like it would turn me on.
I definitely paid for a case and a fifth and all I got was 6 beers and a crown and coke. Wtf. Bar math sucks
I just realized I'm trading you a pregnancy test for the morning after pill...
It's been a bad semester.
Bartender just fed me brownie. Its going to be a good night
My underwear are in the stairs so apparently I did take the dog out.
You had a hat of bras. Probably a good dozen, which is totally impressive for a Thirsty Thursday
This lady gave me four cups to go along with my gallon of daiquiri. Silly girl, all I need is a straw.
You sluts I'm so proud of you. You're both wearing underwear.
Pretty sure if we keep hanging out on Tuesdays there will be no whiskey left for the younger generations or the universe will implode....tomato tahmato
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