Its a bunch of hippies dancing in front of a stobe light. For ten dollars I could have gone to the strip club and at least had a lap dance
North Korea, Best Korea!
Last night was a blur. All I remember is jizzing in the squeegee bucket at a gas station.
The look on the soccer mom's face was PRICELESS.
How dare she call you insensitive. Should have told her about the time you let that girl in the wheelchair wearing the sombrero blow you.
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We were messing around at his place it was going fine until he said, "I'm going to cum, hand me the shot glass"
I was grinding on people that were grinding. Nonconsensual.
He thought my hair would soak it up. I HAD TO CUT IT OFF.
Not gonna make it. My ovaries are playing laser tag
I've spent my afternoon dipping strawberries in DayQuil if that's any indication of where I'm at in life.
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I just projectile vomited into my kitchen sink. Today need to be over already.
Just Peed in a cup for my country. Fighting the good fight.
I would give a kidney to fuck him and he knows it. That bastard.
PS if you want to hear something hilarious as my little sister was showing me her engagement ring I open a Snapchat from R and it's literally a dick pic. Very different points in our life
I'm like a sensual ninja. You turn your head for a second and.... BOOM I'm naked. It's like a naughty magic trick.
Honestly his girlfriend says she hates me cause she thinks im trying to get him to cheat on her with me...she should hate me cause i already accomplished that.
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