Yeah and Nick is shooting his loaded 9mm in his backyard.
My bad bro. I had no idea that when i suggested our triva team name be my last abortion tickled, that she would bring up cancun. Stay strong i think she really liked you
what do you mean I googled how to give an awesome blow job?
I'll trade you a raw potato for some vodka
I just don't have the heart to tell my mom you peed in our washer machine last night.
He asked me why my bellybutton was so ugly... and wondered why i wasnt in the mood anymore.
I don't know how many crown and cokes he went through but I know it was more that I have fingers. We are never leaving Texas.
she's living proof man. somebody has literally pissed in the gene pool
You demanded I give you a glass of water, so I set it down in front of you and you knock it over and roll in it..,
I wanted to be a dolphin.
He said I was almost as good as the wheel chair sex he had the night before. Apparently I just cant compete with 4 wheels
Saturday morning. Went into a study room excited b/c some1 had left a paper w/ an inspirational quote: YOU ARE cApable of aChieving anything yoU waNT. Then I read the bold letters.....
His morals are debatable, but his heart or perhaps his penis is in the right place.
His penis is crooked. Right place? Maybe he starts there, but then he slants.
SOS. HE HAS PASSED OUT AND IS LYING ON TOP OF ME. HE IS STILL INSIDE. HELP
Instead of asking him how many women he's slept with I just got straight to the point and asked how many Plan B pills he's purchased
It was a glorious ass. He has amazing hands. I want to fuck him until he can't do math anymore.
Randomize
