So im pretty sure the object of my emotional onterest is tired of playing with me....
i just remembered that i beat off next to you while we were naked and passed out next to each other after last night... No Homo
Coming down off exstacy at a church event. Resisting the urge to dance to the church hymns.
Drinking in an igloo changes everything.
Tortellini makes me feel like I'm eating hundreds of little vaginas
bro im too drunk for your spanish code words. did you fuck her or not.
he rubbed his balls on my face to wake me up.. this friends with benefits thing is getting out of hand.
my vagina has been out of service for wayy too long... this semester needs to start like right now
I feel the need to clarify that I did not show her my vagina.
I love you more than champagne and correct grammar
BECAUSE THIS IS AMERICA AND DONUTS AND TITTIES AND ALCOHOL IS WHAT THIS COUNTRY WAS FOUNDED ON
Chipotle farts are not good for seducing boys.
drunk and crying about Shakespeare- how's your night?
She was going down on me before I had a chance to tell her I arrested her brother 3 hours earlier
I just told the bartender to “give me something that will murder me”
Randomize
