did you know that the clit is basically just a tiny penis? Ya.. So just think about that next time you're down there.
Even my Mr Clean Magic Eraser can't make last night disappear.
Threw a lawn chair at the neighboors dog. I think I killed him. Come here and assess this
getting a black eye the first day of spring break really sets the tone for the rest of the week.
FACT: the parking lot attendant was yelling "NO SEX HERE! NO SEX" at yall.
Life lesson: When you compete in an impromptu "bloody mary chug-off," in the end, no one wins.
He sent me a Microsoft outlook meeting request to blow him in the storage room at work. I had to accept.
So this whole chlamydia situation totally puts a damper on my back to school sex schedule, there's just no way of knowing who of them was the perpetrator... Time for new candidates
tell me you did not just describe yourself as "hot and bothered"
It's a good thing he's hot, because it seemed like he was trying to do CPR on my private parts
Woke up with two different pairs of pants in the pockets of a jacket.None of the above are mine.
She started throwing ice at me and started yelling, "Holy water bitches! This is an exorcism!"
is that a dick in a sweater?
He asked if I had any questions. Apparently, "how thick is the stick up your ass" was not a correct question.
I just made the same noise looking at my salami sandwich as I do hooking up with you.
Randomize
