that's like riding a pigeon when you could fuck a bald eagle
The way I'm gonna look at it is, if you don't makeout with your roommate once in college, you didn't do something right.
Quick question: how do I take a nice picture of my ass? I'm asking you because I figure with an ass like yours you're probably experienced.
I feel like he has a double life, why was he walking around at 3 am with a backpack?
I knew this night was headed for bad when I was drinking cherry bombs out of a sippy cup in the shower
I was unconscious Saturday for like 6 hours after I passed out on the sidewalks of our nation's capital. Thank you America, for bottomless brunch.
While randomly hooking up with my neighbor last night he says "it's okay we're neighbors".
I feel like Captain Morgan shit all over my hopes and dreams last night...
We played a 4 hour game of True American then we fucked on the floor for a couple hours Happy 20th to me
Doesn't matter if you work at a funeral home. If the boss says get a keg, you get a keg.
I'm just to the point my give a fucks is so far in the red that I'm going to have to take out a 30yr loan of fucks to repay it
Sooo I ended up ugly crying at the drive thru window at 10 pm last night....how was your valentine's day?
Well what did you order
why is there a porcupine in the kitchen
I talked to his mom for a good 10 minutes with coke all over my nose. Not the best first impression
I'd kiss your neck and collarbone and then run my tongue up your neck to just behind your ear
And then lightly kick the curve inside your ear
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