Do you think Capital One would let me put the Tub Girl picture on my Capital One card?
Beat you to it.
So what's the moral of this story? Aside from 'lesbians hold grudges'?
so i definitely just saw 2 cops high five each other as they were arresting underage drinkers in 5 points.
DO IT!!! IT MUST BE FATE THAT I GAVE YOU THAT CONDOM!!!!
people from other dorms came to marvel at the dump i took. i had a bio major take a picture.
I think I might.. possibly.. like a Justin Bieber song.
I think you might... possibly... have sprouted a vagina.
after we finished, she said she had been a backup performer for Cirque du Soleil. THAT flexible.
I don't appreciate you drunk dressing passed-out me in spandex for bed
i lost his rear view mirror, your phone charger, and my lesbian virginity. 21 isn't shaping up too well so far.
JUST MADE A FLAMING SLED. MIGHT HAVE 3RD DEGREE BURNS.
It was about the point the universe collapsed in on itself and I was a singularity of insanity that I realized I was tripping balls.
He said bring my breathalyzer and Anna's pepper spray, I didn't ask questions
Getting drunk in an Applebee's pray for me
Lord god protect this child
I just realized I haven't looked at our horoscopes lately. If mine says anything about tweakers, I'm burning my phone.
Oh shit oh shit oh shit.
BURN THE PHONE.
What does it mean when the bartender gives you 4 straws?
Randomize
