super hot butfun
Oops. What a difference a comma and a space make.
i realized our last day of finals is on cinco de mayo....it's god's way of saying drink ridiculous amounts of tequila and wear sombreros
you can't wake me up at 4am to suck your dick and then give me a high five at the bar
Showering in my swimsuit in hopes of getting the beer smell out.
I don’t know what's weirder; the fact that I weigh more with an erection..or the fact that I actually weighed myself with an erection...
Ya I know. She's self aware though, like the terminator. Which is the best kind of crazy
The best revenge is living well. Or pooping in his sunroof. Either or
I learn from experience and I experienced what it would be like to completely lose my mind and then wake up with a stab wound.
I SHITYOUNOT DAN JUST PUNCHED A DEER IN THE FACE. MID LEAP.
For once I am not in the mood. My vagina is good with life at the moment.
The apocalypse has arrived.
It is a bad day indeed when you learn that your boy toy looks better in your dresses than you do
Dude I just realized i did a camper walk of shame in front of amish people. I should have asked for cheese and a home made pie to cover it up. Im just lost shopping in amish country nothing to see here
So i know i said I'm turning over a new leaf, but i met a guy with a dick piercing. I have to sleep with him. For science.
Literally had sex in his grow room under a plant.. ganja queen .
Eh, it could have been worse. I may or may not have been wearing a jedi cloak while getting my dick sucked.
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