After 9 shots a girl with a mustache......still not attractive
Your parents are going to be so confused in the morning
More like pissed. but ill be sure to explain my pathological fear of terrorists hiding in the bathtub
I wish i could be there for it
he used the word "rubber" i just couldn't do it after that.
I just paid $5 for a shot of el toro and the bartender wasn't even hot. Rock bottom.
I asked her if she wanted to make this a permanent exclusive thing instead of a fuck buddy thing, and she just looked at me like I'm an idiot.
That's because you are an idiot.
The chick I hooked up with last night is my girlfriend older sister. Who is in town visiting. Who I just met. Who I just had dinner With. Who is here along with their parents and the whole family. How did my luck get so bad?
What has two arms, one testicle and no credit card debt? This guy.
you were wearing a pair of wings and handing out McDonalds apple pies, if anyone refers to you as the "Rave Fairy" you now know why.
THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
Oh man. Realized I was high when I realized how long I'd been watching Roseanne
So i know i shouldnt being spending random large amnts of money...but i just bought a sword.
We had sex in the bathroom. Good sex. Toilet breaking sex.
tanning, a slurpee, and a cigarette. spa day college edition
Sorry about the whole your mom seeing my face up your ass situation
Don't you judge us. Sockets make ideal bowls
dude, im taking a shit and i just realized it's his MOM in the shower not him...oh fuck
Randomize
