He's been sleeping iwht ***
Nooo
Yeah I don't even know how, she looks like her mom smoked crack while she was in the womb
And then hit her in the face with a shovel
Is it weird for a girl to post pictures of her dildo no facebook?
my roommate's gf just broke up with him and hes in his room crying and listening to coldplay while beating off to pictures of her...
I'm driving to work with an ice pack on my vagina. how was your weekend?
We must be getting old. All of our friends are having kids and they aren't illegitimate.
Smoking bowl and applying to community college. I now know how I got here.
every time i recognize a doctor or patient at the hospital on this rotation, i just pray it's not from my blackout saturday makeout slut moments...professionalism shouldn't count on weekends
You're not supposed to support this behaviour, btw the judge recognized me
That man gives me hope. I can't help it. And by "hope" I mean "wood."
My dad picked me up from the bus station and as soon as he saw me he yelled "bus backwards is SUB!" and started laughing, I'm like 800% sure he's stoned. I'm so happy I came home for spring break.
The guy next to me just said he wont play beer pong on principle. Im scared.
I'm just gonna use that pot butter as dip for chips. That's fat, American AND stoner!
Worst drunk idea ever... Me "Cops are looking for two guys, one in a grey shirt one in a blue shirt" jelly "lets take out shirts off they'll never find us" of course I thought it was brilliant
So I spent all night thinking my bed was floating down a river and telling the cats to get on the bed because they were going to float away. Percocet is strong shit.
I just had a legitimate orgy. Wearing glowsticks.
Randomize
