i think he might wanna be bffs again, but idk cause we're friends again but we haven't been bff since like a year. i don't know what to think...
wow. what a nail bitter. i need popcorn for this. brb
Firetruck pulls up, fireman jumps out n knocks on my door, asks "do you know where Johnny lives?"
woke up and her hair clip was clamped around my shaft
my ass hurt today after the party last night. I wnt to the doctors and they found a coin in a ziplock bag with a note from you. WHAT THE FUCK DID U DO TO ME???
I am totally the chick from Intervention who barfs up wine and then re-eats it.
The best thing he's ever done for me was comment on my profile picture saying "hello boner"
He's warming up to shark week, by only eating fish and drinking vodka, and all the time he keeps yelling "death to the seals!"
he told me that my best friend was "one the most attractive people he's ever seen" and wondered why he didn't get a blow job
slow down on the beer.. we don't need another pentabong projectile hot dog incident
its been so long even thinking about having a dick inside me makes me sore
Just so you know, if you are not feeling well today it's cause you drank a gatorade bottle full of highlighter fluid.
Stoned stonnnnnnned on the raaaaange
my life could not get any worse. just saw my sister in a porno
I rode home in a shopping cart so there's that. MVP to the guy that pushed it.
I can't hang out tomorrow. A boy wants to feed me ice cream and touch my boobs. Priorities.
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