She is in my trunk
Last night I saw a drag queen take a shot of Red Hot that was soaked into a tampon. I fucking love my life!
There's a girl in my class named "La-a" pronouced "Luh Dash uh" I hate everyone
what has two thumbs and is going to bang you boss on monday?
THEY HAVE A VOMIT TROUGH.
What?
A TROUGH FOR VOMIT.
He just ordered a bottle of Beam at an Italian place for us to share.
that girl from work that wants to bone me just said 'the last time i went this long without sex was in jail'. sup, red flag
Im down. Even tho your nick name intimidates my vagina.
Woke up in a wet suit with my junk cut out. In a strange apartment. Just found thing biggest bong u have ever seen. WHERE ARE YOU?!?!?!
omg. MEgabus. stoned.
Theres these two guys talking.
It'll just be like "PENIS HERE". In case you get lost.
Are you setting a date to bone me?
Are you accepting?
Remember when I got punched in the face on NYE last year? I don't
That awkward moment when your drug dealer pulls your boss out of the snow
You’ll (maybe) appreciate that I picked at my ingrown hair again. Quarantine updates are getting BLEAK.
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