Spotted: jayne dropping her cigarettes in a puddle...then picking them back up and putting them in her pocket. If i ever get that desperate, stop talking to me
It's just like soggy cereal, but cancerous
I had to go to the bank to confirm purchases made on 10/31/09 because they were signed as Lady Gaga
you decided to have a spaghetti fight but then you got greedy and decided to eat it all.
Just proof I should've brought the airhorn with me to class.
He has horses apparently. I wonder if we could fuck while riding a horse or if that's too dangerous.
Its hard to hear the music in here over his nasal whistle. And his breath smells like old milk. I think I need more vodka, and he better be buying. You owe me.
She's doing hand stands on the train as I type. Idk if I'm impressed it embarrassed. Or turned on.
So if I tell her fire is hot and it will burn her... she's probably just going to keep throwing her vagina at it huh?
Come over. Bring cocaine. And my t shirt with the dolphin on it.
I just felt emotion and I'm not okay with it
Let me just get through this whole court subpoena thing and then ill go back to buying alcohol for minors.
i had to win in rock paper scissors, get called a fat whore, and make two dudes get in a fight so we could call next game on the table and you make zero cups. thanks asshole.
I can't be sure but I think I slept with a clown last night...
Did you mark a random day on my calendar as National Seth Day?
Sounds like a legit day to me.
We kicked down a door together last night, pretty sure that qualifies us as best friends.
Randomize
