Fantastic night. drank beer from a wine bottle, danced on a van, chased a llama, and fell from a fence
Skinny jeans should not be made in size 14. Then, it's just a lie.
According to Glamour magazine, experiencing sexual pleasure helps you live longer. I am dying an early death.
I love how I just got my coachella ticket and ecstasy in a package deal.
Hey remember that thing i said about never apologizing for being a hot mess? Well that was before you found me drunk in the hallway with no pants.
He also informed us that it's rude to shove your tit in someone's mouth. Happy Monday.
She's still too new to the group to be comfortable with us just sitting down as a group and watching porn on the tv.
Although I am concerned about who made the decision to let you loose in a bridal show I am proud to see you in a sombero again.
He balanced a treat on his nose, and then he rolled me a joint. My bf is the best pet ever.
Can you send me the pictures of me riding the penis
Your drunk naked friend is roaming the living room. Started roaming my room. Please come retrieve him
I just projectile vomited into my kitchen sink. Today need to be over already.
I vote we just hike, drink, and destroy dick
He literally shoved the EMT, climbed in the back of the ambulance with his vodka and was like, "C'mon, people. Wrap this up. I got shit to do."
I realize ur driving andwont read this til u stop, but I'm sleeping in the bed of the pickup. Please don't hit a deer.
Randomize
