I only want to know people that are dynamic intelligent and totally insane
u sent me just one boob. one just doesnt do it for me. u dont get full on a half a rack of ribs u need a full one
hey remember that 14 year old i met 5 years ago who i said i would bang 5 years from then?
Yup.
i just had a pap smear and two shots. lets hit the beach.
No. And Marissa said shitting in the handicap bathroom at work does not get you into the club. You have to shit yourself. She said.
Pros and cons of selling your underwear to a guy on craigslist. Go.
Come down off the roof.
Id fuck him but only at his house and he had to stay im bed till i left. He only works upper body. It just creeps me out how tiny his legs are
Well, I made it thru a doorway, so I think things are going good.
I'm shotgunning a 12 pack at a bus stop. This is why we pay the rent with an auto withdrawal at the beginning of the month
No no this isn't that fun. I'm alone drinking wine and me and the dogs ran out of things to talk about around 9 am.
I've also stopped shaving, like, everything. I can't tell if I'm empowered or sad
I've spent so much time on tinder lately I just tried to left swipe an instagram photo of my neighbor
Oh yeah, nothing says welcome home like walking in on your parents having sex on your bed while the dog is watching, they told me to wait until they were done...
Just so you know, I choose to answer your bootytext tonight because it was the most creative.
I've seen your dick too many times for both of us to be straight.
Randomize
