So is chris hansen cool in person? Or is it just awkward while you wait for the cops?
Lady came into work yesterday. Full on stache and beard. I've never concentrated on making eye contact harder in my life.
as i creep her facebook pics from back in the day till now, i noticed that her lazy eye has gotten better
My mom made me chili for when I get home from the bar. Those are the standards I expect you to live up to
She peed in the limo. She stood up and pulled up her dress and peed on the floor of the limo.
uh, 3 redbulls and 400mg of caffeine pills and i still feel like life is in slowmotion..lets not take tranquilizers again.
stop calling me dude. finger blasting me officially kills you being able to call me dude.
I got home and laid by the toilet and then alexa laid in the bathtub and sang the preamble while kayla held my hair
Her virginity is one of the last things that remains of our childhood.
It sounds like drunken magic sprinkled w narcotics
Remember when we were coked out at that house and we were trying to meditate in the bathroom? Who's house were we at?
We're like adult pinky and the brain when they decided that taking over the world is unrealistic so they aim lower by trying to get drunk every day.
The dick pic bandit just sent me a poem about showering..
I just got dumped by my fuck buddy. Now I have to have sex with my husband.
help. his tongue is stuck. Its not what you think. Hurry.
Randomize
