Send those Picts to my email please. From last night
Ps thx for the porn on my phone
;) ur welcome
Is it weird I updated my facebook status from my phone while I had explosive diarrhea in my boss's private bathroom?
That would be awkward if he commented on your status
Im so hungover that my 6 year old cousine made me aspirine and coffee out of playdoh...
Reggie can tackle my bush.
i look like a southern belle. however, i am around a million kegs. so i will be a southern shitshow.
Man in California was arrested for killing and eating a wild bobcat while high on crystal meth. Let's please NEVER get that high on anything...
I already ran out of vodka but I have more beer. I just ran naked into the high school party down the street as took all theirs. ...figured no one wants to tackle the naked guy..
Its people like u that make people like me go to rehab. He has a lazy eye for christ sakes.
Your whole purpose in life is to just float around and satisfy lonely women and also join lesbian couples in threesomes.
He yelled "I'm Bruce Springsteen!" when he came. This is why I don't sleep with guys from Jersey.
The dysfunction is strong in this one.
We shared a dick. We're practically sisters!
How drunk is too drunk to be on an airplane?
So I love answering sex questions in intimate relationships class on a clicker when im sitting next to my cousin..
she bought my drinks all night, made me breakfast in the morning, and let me use her expensive hair products before i left. best one night stand ever.
Randomize
