I think my fart just growled at me.
i wonder how he feels talking to my mother about jesus with a condom on his dick
We made a drinking game out of poaching eggs. When did our life turn into a really awesome version of Top Chef?
he just started chanting dark meat! dark meat! out of no where.
i think that dennys waitress has my boxers
Just painted my nails at the bar... I may be getting too comfortable here.
There was a lot going on. It was easy to miss a 70 foot tall puppet.
I know for sure he's a bro because he closed the door so my gf didn't see me hooking up with her cousin.
I would like to apologize for my MANY attempts of trying to motor boat you.
I was convinced to buy a man thong.
But it's Armani so it's okay.
God I just out gayed myself.
i am one UTI away from banning your fingers from my vagina
seriously though if NH has the largest penis size... the rest of America must be very disappointed.
he spent an hour trying to rescue a bug from the sink. turned out to be a sesame seed.
Also this just in, I think you could see my sequins underwear that say unwrap me through my leggings all day while I hung out with his family
Well the hawks lost... so, of course, the only logical course of action was a bonfire in the middle of the street.
Randomize
