we sat in the hammock and pretended we were skydiving for three hours. jack actually started crying when i convinced him his chute didnt open.
why would she cut her hair? she needs all the distractions possible from those texas-sized gums and horse teeth.
bro i finally banged her last night on our basement couch
I'm at this frat party right now and yelled "my little 16 year old brother finally lost his virginity." They gave you a standing ovation
He met a random girl on the bus home and decided to go to Spain with her. The blackout decisions are becoming internationally epic. He has work in the morning.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I asked the subway guy how many cookies he thought I could smuggle into the bar. He said it looked like a 6 packer. he was correct
I am in a hotel room with 10 people. John is in bed eating an industrial sized pan of mashed potatoes. I think a non insignificant number of people saw my nipples.
We're not piercing ourselves today.
he stopped talking to me, quit his job, moved out of the province and then told me it was "no big" when I called him apologizing...
I was thirsty after the sex and it was a long trek back to res so naturally I stole chocolate milk from his fridge as I left
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If he doesn't give you the same feelings you get when the pizza guy arrives, he's probably not worth it.
if you're the one who put those dollar bills in my bra last night, thank you because I just used that money to get myself a coffee
THE STRIPPER HAD A GUN JOHN!
I'm gonna try and get through this weekend sober, which is gonna be tough especially since I've already started drinking.
What are you, a fucking toaster ?
I just don't understand what you plan on accomplishing there except for losing all vestiges of post-freshman year dignity
Randomize