she tasted like a mixture of sweat and destiny
Just saw a girl in a wheelchair puke then rally. Diversity matters.
Most the numbers in my phone are mistakes. It's a virtual graveyard of people I should never pick up for.
I apparently tried to stop my spending of money by sealing the top of my wallet with gum
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There is a keg full of gin. THERE SHOULD NEVER EVER BE A KEG FULL OF GIN.
you're thinking of things to pack this weekend and you think Don King wig?
I got concerned once i realized you weren't there to hear us having sex. See I do worry about you.
Am I really that high, or did I just spray febreeze outside ?
We hooked up and then we watched game of thrones while he fed me chocolate. I don't see how our benafriendship is a bad thing.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just climbed out the passenger side of my car because there was a spider on mine. I'm doing adulthood right
strip vodka pong is never a good idea. I saw into his colon when he picked up the ball off the floor
The guy I hooked up with last night left me alone with his dog AND IT JUST SHIT ON THE FLOOR. WHAT DO I DO
So is seeing the guy's penis that I'm talking to something you're into or nah?
You know it was a good dinner party when one of the guests broke their finger and no one can remember how it happened.
i forgot how loud opening a beer is in a house where your not allowed to drink
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