dude, she has braces
i meant the dude w the ponytail.
i was less creeped out when i thought you were talking about the 14 y.o.
his dick got so hard in his pants and it broke his zipper
i woke up surrounded by junior mints. not to mention, there was a huge pyramid of natty cans baracading the door shut. this is why i can't drink alone.
He's got a pretty small dick but he's a total sweetheart. I'm gonna buy a new dildo and just deal with it.
Dude their dog does tricks for sips of beer. He keeps going up next to people and trying to shake. This is awesome.
He like walks around to open car doors for me. Has already held my hair while I barf and still likes me. What. Is. Happening.
No, I've only ever seen his brother's dick. So when I have lucid sex dreams, I just do a little cut and paste in my mind and stick his bro's package onto him.
he stopped talking to me, quit his job, moved out of the province and then told me it was "no big" when I called him apologizing...
When God was sprinkling self control to everybody, he ran out and was like ehhhh she'll make it!
I don't know what happened. His phone, shirt, shoes, and the condom wrapper are here but he isn't. I don't even know how to get a hold of him right now
I'm crying and shaving my Bronco playoff beard
Just got a motivational speech from the tacobell drive thru guy at 2am
It's amazing what a couple of orgasms can do for a girls demeanor.
So I think I've successful blown my foot off in a way that's going to make you call me an idiot.
I got so drunk I thought my tennis court was a corn field so I laid in it and ate pizza