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Jason just peed on the potty all by himself!!
"omg awesome!, you do realize we aren't together anymore"
what do you think about when you wanna get rid of a boner?
dying kittens.
You're the host. Of course you wear the diaper. It's like wearing the pants.
bitch asked me if i cared if she kept her snuggie on while we had sex
Arguably, the best part was cockblocking those squirrels.
my phone calendar just alerted me that it's "weed time" in 15 minutes. do not remember setting that alert last night...
Where else am I to apply my creativity?
I don't know. Anywhere productive and not involving sex toys would be a start.
New game: find the sober person in Tbell
you cant just puke in an arbys and not order food. thatd be rude.
I HAVE MY OWN TITS FOR THAT AND I CAN GUARANTEE THAT THEYRE MORE GLORIOUS
The problem with Wednesday evening drinking is that no gets to my level. It's like like a one man party. But it's a goood party.
Your grammar in that last text message was so awful.. My vagina wants to go crawl in a hole, and never speak to you again.
Cat. Why do you sit on things I need to use.
Because it is cat.
It's a never ending cycle of men I've fucked knowing other men I've fucked. I need a new town.
I can never go back to Jacksonville. We think I may have punched a child in the face while on acid...
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