Are you going to tell your therapist we boned?
I accidentally requested the ides of march off instead of st patricks day. Is this an omen? will alcohol be my brutus?
she has tattoo'd to her hips "grip here" this is why they made spring break
apparently, i ordered a pogo stick last night. i can't even be mad about that.
we've been together for three years, and i still get excited when i know i'm going to give him a blow job. it's that kind of love
So to distract myself from jackies vomiting, im making up a story in my head. It's called the little penis that could
I've made a list of places I want to have sex this summer. #1: Reptile House at the zoo.
Stop calling dibs on everything with a vagina you jackass.
That should be the title of my autobiography.
Have 7 min to kill while I wait for liquor store to open. Feels really awkward.
I think I pulled a muscle in my tongue.
sorry? thank you? I love you?
Don't worry dude, I've created a sex logic bomb to stop that sort of thing.
If you're not my stylist, having sex with me, or agreeing to have sex with me don't fucking touch my hair.
We kept having to tell you that you couldn't just sit wherever you wanted at Walmart. Sitting in the middle of the raw meat section was unacceptable and children were staring at you.
so my dads pretending to use the snow blower and theres absolutley no snow one the ground.... someone should really lock our liqour cabinet
Never. No amount of alcohol could convince my brain and eye sight that it is okay to fuck him. I'd rather fuck my cousin.
Randomize
